Break-Up Letter

By Vinnie C.

Dear Mary Jane,

We are now broken up, retroactive to Dec. 29th, 2024. It’s not you. It’s me. Let me explain.

When we first met back in February of 2004, you absolutely rocked my world. I’ll never forget that first time, smoking with a shady Russian guy in a New Jersey college dorm room. Remember that first hit, when I coughed into the bowl and volcanoed you all over the floor and burned his rug? But then I got high… it was amazing! I had maybe only felt that good one or two other times in my life up until then.

It was love at first puff.

You have been my unwavering companion for 21 years. I loved smoking you. I loved getting high and will probably always relish those days. You unlocked parts of my brain that had never been activated before. You made movies more fun to watch, art more fun to look at, music more fun to hear, comedy more fun to listen to, food more fun to eat, sex more fun to have. We did literally everything together.

But the magic has turned to madness. Remember the time we stayed in my apartment for 4 days straight between Christmas and New Years in 2016, never seeing the sunlight, getting high, napping, and eating delivery food all day? Remember when I was high at my dear gramma’s wake? Remember when I spent the first 8 months of my daughter’s life getting high and being a totally passive parent? Remember how I ruined Christmas in 2024 because I had run out of you and turned into a totally insufferable dope fiend for the entire day?

I would do anything to be with you, including sneaking around to hide it from my wife, turning off security cameras and taking the dog for “long walks”; coughing my guts up for the first 10 minutes, to the point of torn abdominal muscles and slipped discs in my back; and constant broken promises about limiting our time together.

When I’m with you, I am not the person I want to be. I can no longer sustain this insanity. You have controlled my life for far too long.

Good bye.

Sincerely,
Vinnie

P.S. Have you seen my keys?

Published in A New Leaf – May 2025

  • October 1st

    Written By, Joel G October first, and as I seem to at this time of year, I’m thinking about my sobriety date—which is a few days away—and I’m thinking about how it’s been. I hear the neighbor coughing in his back shed and I can smell that skunky smell. He’s always out there around this…

    October 1st
  • There Was A Reason

    Written By, David L. I started using at 16. As soon as I got my own stash, my addiction began. It started as my nightly routine, helping me to escape my anxieties and calm my mind. Deep, relaxing sleeps turned into obsessive use… smoking joints on the way to school, avoiding my parents to hide…

    There Was A Reason
  • Are you?

    Written by, Callie B. Are you awake?Are you here?We only have moments to spare…Are you aware of being aware?Wherever you are, are you there?Are you paying close attention?Is your attention intentional? Are you always running?Is your patience,thin, dull, dwelling?Is it drained, gone, numbing?Are you chasing it or is it chasing you? Are you afraid, and…

    Are you?
  • Freed from Weed

    Written by, Ari K. Freed from Weed(Sobriety freed my mind from substance slavery.)Addicted to WEED?I was indeed.  Now I’m FREE! Now I go my way more consciouslyParts of my spirit are more grounded, see?The scope of the world widened when Iet go.I can’t manage now,I can however grow. Things I didn’t expect have arrived,gifts given…

    Freed from Weed
  • Break Up Letter

    Written By, Andrea F. (Note: This was written 4 1/2 months into my sobriety) Dear Marijuana, This is my letter to you from when I first gave you up 4 1/2 months into my sobriety. As I’m coming up on my 4 year anniversary on August 23rd, 2025, I’m looking back at all the reasons…

    Break Up Letter
  • Heard in a Meeting

    “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Published in A New Leaf – September 2025

    Heard in a Meeting