Written By Brian B.
When I first walked into the rooms of Marijuana Anonymous, I was searching for a new way of life. Recovery felt overwhelming but also full of possibility. At my very first meeting, called Grown as Men, newcomers were given a simple gift: a virtual white stone. That small image of a clean slate touched me deeply. It felt like hope.
I wanted something I could actually hold in my hand. So I went to a local gem store that sold pendants with different spirit animals. There were bears, wolves, snakes, dragons, and more. But I kept coming back to one in particular. A white stone with a black eagle etched into it. For me, the eagle stands for freedom and spiritual awareness. That was exactly what I was looking for in recovery. That first white stone became my personal reminder that a new life was possible if I worked the Twelve Steps.
At first I thought I would choose a different animal for each step. But when I went back for the second stone, I found myself drawn to the eagle again. And then again. It finally hit me that the eagle was meant to guide me all the way through. I didn’t need twelve different animals. I needed one constant symbol of freedom and awareness to carry me through every challenge.
Around this same time I pushed myself to do 90 meetings in 90 days. I started doing service, made friends in the fellowship and wrote and memorized my personal mission statement that I call the SOBER Creed. During that time I met my sponsor at another meeting and also found my true home group, Rise & Shine. Later on, I even had the chance to help start a new in-person meeting in Asheville, North Carolina. The eagle stones became a way to mark each Step, while the fellowship became the place where I learned how to really live them.
Then life threw me a curveball. When I reached Step 6, Hurricane Helene tore through my community and flooded the gem store where I had been getting my pendants. Suddenly, the one place that had helped me honor this tradition was gone. The stones I found for Steps 7, 8, and 9 were different shapes and styles. Looking back, that feels just right. Those steps were about humility, making amends, and moving forward even when things are tough. The different stones remind me that recovery isn’t always smooth, but the eagle was still there guiding me.
After Step 9 something amazing happened. I found out the store owners had managed to save some of their inventory, including more of the eagle pendants. They even remembered my tradition and had set some aside for me. That small act of kindness felt like a gift from my Higher Power. The stones for Steps 10, 11, and 12 returned to the same familiar style as the beginning.
Now I hold the black stone with the golden eagle that marks Step 12. The first stone was white, a symbol of a fresh start. The last is black, a symbol of strength and spiritual awakening. The eagle has been with me the whole way, reminding me that freedom and awareness are always possible if I keep working the program.
My collection of stones tells the story of where I started, the steps I’ve taken, and the transformation that recovery has brought into my life. Each pendant is a reminder of what happens when I commit to this path.
If you’re new to MA, I encourage you to find your own stepping stones. It doesn’t have to be jewelry or anything fancy. It could be a coin, a shell, a note from a friend, or anything that reminds you of your commitment to recovery. What matters most is the journey, one day and one step at a time.
