Written by, Marcia L.
My recovery in Marijuana Anonymous has been a long time coming.
I was in and out of recovery for decades. Unfortunately, I was in and out of every area of life during my first 65 years. Nothing ever made sense.
My family life was certainly affected by my marijuana use, and I felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere during all of those years, even as a young child.
In February 2026, I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder! I knew autism existed, but I had never bothered to research the details until someone I met suggested that I reminded her of a person she knew with autism. I started reading. It all came together…
So, my research began. I finally got an appointment after weeks of trying to make it happen.
It was so difficult to get an appointment!. I learned from many sources that even in 2026, appointments for diagnosis in most places in the world are backlogged. Wait lists can take one to two years! It has also been traditionally slow for women to get a diagnosis. I called at least two dozen places, and finally got lucky to get an appointment within a few weeks. Some places wouldn’t even test you if you are over 65.
The outcome – I am, indeed, on the autism spectrum! I am neurodivergent. This changed my life!
With this knowledge, I could feel my brain searching and working overtime trying to grasp it. Now I’m learning more every day. Memories are flooding back to me from way back in childhood. It all makes sense now.
No wonder I was the quiet one. The one who wore a jean jacket during the hot summer back in the ’70’s as my “security blanket.” The one who listened and rarely spoke. The one who always felt awkward, no matter what I was doing.
I can now give myself a break and not be so hard on myself!!!
I started smoking marijuana at age 12. I was addicted from the first puff. I pursued it all my life until I decided to really give up marijuana and alcohol eight months ago.
I attend MA meetings online now. The literature is stunning, and the best description of the 12 Steps I’ve ever seen. I’m no longer hiding away in the woods or using inappropriate clothing to protect myself. I have a sponsor and we use MA literature to complete the Step-work when I see her every week. The biggest miracle is that I’ve become a social being for the first time in my life despite being autistic! It became absolutely necessary in the process of recovery and surviving my addiction. I can’t get well without others who share this addiction. I have true friends for the first time.
Unfortunately, there are people of all ages who were misdiagnosed all their lives. I saw psychiatrists for decades and was misdiagnosed. It was easy to admit the addiction to marijuana, but the autism question and diagnosis really cleared the way so I could know how to navigate recovery, how to stop beating myself up, and how to appreciate other people fully and willingly.
I’m so grateful for the MA program and its literature, along with having access to so many online meetings. There aren’t many in-person meetings yet in Minnesota, but I’m sure that will change.
It’s difficult to realize I’ve had autism since birth. At first I was angry about being diagnosed so late, but the good thing is that now I know how to move on and accept myself and stop beating myself up mentally.
The puzzle has been solved. MA and my higher power (and one competent psychologist) have finally helped me solve the mystery of my unmanageable life.
