Healing My Inner Child Through Self Love

By, Fiona M.

As I have come into Steps 10 and 11, with a solid daily meditation practice and my Step 3 prayer, and my Step 5 and 7 prayer (which changes every day), I think that I have found the root of my problem.

The thing which I suffered from the most in active addiction, which stole my life-force, was my obsession. 

Marijuana was always on my mind. The most important thing in my life.

Without it, I find my mind replacing it, with other obsessive objects. Something that I can think of, which my mind wishes to spin a fantasy of pleasure upon, that lifts me momentarily out of my daily life and out of a place of mindfulness, and presence. 

If I substitute this thought, this desired object, with an image of a fantastical world —I tried a fluffy pink marshmallow world 🙂 — from below up pops my inner child, needing love and care and attention.

I realise that in my obsessive thoughts, I am looking for something outside of myself which I can only find within.

As an adult, only I can give my inner child– the wounded/neglected feeling part of myself which was shut away in childhood—  the self protection, the love, and the care that they need.

On this day I give myself the love that only I can give.

Published in A New Leaf – February 2025

More Articles

  • Step One

    Written by, Anna T. I have admitted that I am powerless over cocaine, marijuana, my boyfriend and all mind altering drugs.   My life is/was out of control – I couldn’t handle my bills and my relationship with my boyfriend. I was having a hard time getting up for work.  I was becoming co-dependent and resentful…

    Step One
  • THOUGHTS FROM THE FIELD 

    “Freedom from marijuana, alcohol, and all other mind altering substances” Written by, Carol M. There was quite a brouhaha about that statement a couple of years ago. Los Angeles County MA had incorporated and the four main groups of recovering pot addicts were unifying.  We had a meeting in Balboa Park and the Board of…

    THOUGHTS FROM THE FIELD 
  • The Story of the Lotus Eaters

    Written by, Janet F. About 3000 years ago, the poet Homer told a story about a man called Odysseus, and his travels as he returned home to Greece from the Trojan Wars.  He and his men met up with many adventures along the way, but one I always remembered was when he and his crew…

    The Story of the Lotus Eaters
  • To God with Love, Goodbye to Drugs

    Written by, Regina H. God, I get so disgusted with myselfWhen I refuse to knock the drugsBlow it away with one giant breath,Breath in beauty and blow out death. The pain is like saying farewellTo the potions that made me do dares wellFar away was never far enough to run,Chasing that next hit hasn’t been…

    To God with Love, Goodbye to Drugs
  • Progress Not Perfection

    Written by, Mariska P. The Fourth MA Conference meant progress and letting go for me.  Just under two years ago, it was “us” versus “them” and now it is “we”, a true unified entity of marijuana addicts in recovery. My how far we have come. Imagine through all the different opinions and personalities, Marijuana Anonymous…

    Progress Not Perfection
  • Carrying the Message

    Written by, Andi A. The Twelfth Step tells us, having had a spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs. I learned very early on in MA that service would help to keep me sober. It kept…

    Carrying the Message