“We were living the fantasy of functionality.”

– Life with Hope, second edition, page 2

While using marijuana, I believed that I had power and I was in control. I was able to do all of my daily tasks. I used marijuana, went to work, used marijuana, came home, used marijuana, cooked and cleaned, used marijuana, entertained company, and used marijuana. My life was great on the outside, but on the inside there was a nagging doubt. On my job, I couldn’t possibly give 100 percent, with my friends I wasn’t giving my all. I decided that I would stop smoking marijuana, but there was another lurking thought, “Why would you want to stop smoking, you have everything that you want?”

I was living the fantasy of functionality. I didn’t have enough reasons to stop using marijuana until I tried to stop. That was when I realized that I truly had no power over using marijuana and I was not in control. Marijuana was a part of my functionality and I only looked like I had it all together when I did not. Quitting actually made my life look completely different. Instead of using before work, I prayed to my Higher Power, and was sent to a program called Marijuana Anonymous—my life had totally changed. Instead of using, I went to meetings.

Final thought: Today, my life has changed because my Higher Power sent me to the Marijuana Anonymous recovery program.