“Step One is about honesty, about giving up our delusions and coming to grips with reality. We had to look honestly at our relationship with marijuana and its effect on our lives.”

– Life with Hope, third edition, page 3

It took me a long time to admit I was a marijuana addict. I had smoked dope almost daily all through my twenties. In my thirties and forties, though, I went through significant periods of time, even years, without smoking. I convinced myself that there wasn’t a problem; however, I always found my way back to my old friend, marijuana. As marijuana started to become legal, it became all too easy for me to access it. One day, by grace, it dawned on me that I was an addict.

I have experience with other addictions and other 12-Step programs so I knew what to do. I went online and found my first MA meeting. I was immediately amazed at how much at home I felt there. It was as if I had found my people. I am 51 and have been without marijuana and in recovery for more than six months now. With the help of the 12 Steps, meetings, meditation and prayer, I work to stay vigilant, especially regarding my emotional sobriety and spiritual connectedness.

I will always be an addict and the dangers of cross-addiction are real, thus I have to stay honest with myself. Honesty means that I look at my thoughts and behavior with kindness and acceptance. I look at what I need to let go of and what I need to change. I believe that the slogan, “progress not perfection,” has really helped me to accept myself and grow in recovery. Life is so much better living in alignment with my Higher Power and my own values.

Final thought: Today, I look at my thoughts and behaviors with honesty and kindness.