“When we acknowledged and accepted our feelings, we behaved moderately. We ran less risk of relapsing or of switching addictions.”

– Life with Hope, second edition, page 35

Before getting clean and working the Steps, I would do anything to avoid my feelings. I had become such an expert at avoidance that when I came into MA, I had to relearn how to feel, both recognizing what my emotions were and how to just sit with them. When I was using, I only wanted to get away from my feelings as quickly as possible. Since my addiction is a “disease of more,” it sometimes led me to seek an enhancement in a moment of celebration. Most of the time, marijuana was a way to diminish and escape, especially what I considered the unpleasant emotions of anger, fear, and sadness.

In recovery, I have discovered that my emotions are a necessary part of being fully human. I have also learned that I can acknowledge, accept, and not overreact to any particular feeling, allowing each to arise and dissipate. Like everything else in life, feelings change, and I know now that I needn’t be afraid of them, because they will always subside.

Final thought: Today, I do my best to acknowledge and accept my feelings.