“By the grace of a Higher Power, we are given the gift of recovery. For most of us, recovery is a process that goes from awareness to awakening. We have many spiritual experiences before we have the permanence of a spiritual awakening as a result of growth from these Steps.”

– Life with Hope, second edition, page 63

The gift of recovery occurs only when I keep coming back and when I put in the work, no matter how many times I may succumb to yet another relapse. I’ve spent several years in these rooms, gaining some clean time here and there, but never fully committing to the program, nor finishing the Twelve Steps, nor receiving a spiritual awakening, until now. As I have stayed clean for the longest time yet, I now know what this program can do. I was relentless enough to keep coming back, attempting to put my life back together after the last bottom that I hit. Three years later, I am still clean.

I had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps. I knew the miracles that could happen if I kept working the program. My greatest miracle was that I was living in a house full of stoners for the first nine months of my recovery. Most days, I would find weed on the floor and my roommate’s bong on the table, coupled with a lighter. I had the ability, through my Higher Power giving me strength, to resist the temptations. I made it through practically the first year with temptation staring right at my face. There was no other way I could have done this on my own. My Higher Power gave me the tools I needed to stay clean in an addict’s worst nightmare. It is through these Steps and the guidance of God that I was able to remove my obsession of using.

Final thought: Today, I will keep coming back, because it works if I work it.