“Wherever possible, we write down what we might do to set things straight with the people on our list.”
– MA Workbook, first edition, page 44
Step Nine isn’t just about saying I’m sorry, it is about an amend. What is an amend? It is the action of mending. We mend tears, repair them, heal them. Not all tears and wounds should be treated the same way; there isn’t one specific way to make amends with everyone on my list. Surgeons have a variety of stitches and sutures depending on the wound. They will use the appropriate stitch to best support healing.
It is the same with amends. I think about an appropriate reparation. I found it helpful to put myself in the other person’s shoes, to look at the harm from their perspective and ask myself, “what would it take to heal this? What could I say, or do, that will mend this tear?” While I don’t know if it will heal the harm, I am considerate, thoughtful and mindful of my motives and actions. With this approach, I am repairing my attitude and demonstrating my changes.
In making amends, I take well-considered action. I practice the spiritual principles of the first nine Steps by being willing to be honest, hopeful, trusting in my Higher Power and this process, courageous to face those I have harmed, acting with integrity, being loving, forgiving, and doing what is just and fair.
Final thought: Today, I am able to act with integrity because I practice the spiritual principles of the Steps.
