“We stopped practicing denial and became willing to face our disease.”
– Life with Hope, first edition, page 3
The other day, I was watching a guy take some hits off a pipe inside his car. He didn’t move or change his gaze from a blank stare for almost a minute. I don’t think he was aware of me watching him even though I was less than ten feet away. The overwhelming feeling I felt in that instant was one of compassion, a compassion that hoped he could eventually find the strength to put the bong down. I couldn’t help but remember all of the times when I was in his position. I remembered the sensation of basically having my brain fall asleep while the rest of me was still awake, something a non-pothead can’t understand but every pothead knows all too well.
As I sat there, I realized I was having an out-of-body experience, but in a much different way than I did when I was still smoking. This time the out-of-body experience was me putting myself in someone else’s shoes. I had never done this when I was getting high because I was too worried about making myself feel good to care or even think about how anyone else was feeling.
In times when life on life’s terms seems to be getting the best of me, I remember where I came from before entering recovery. This gives me a new perspective and helps me to see that what I had seen as major problems were really insignificant or, even blessings, in some cases. I don’t punish myself when recalling these situations that I never want to live again but instead choose to remember and recognize the difference between where I took myself then and where God is taking me now.
Final thought: For today, I ask myself, “What would happen if I allowed myself to see the world as others see it? What kind of understanding would I gain?”
