“It was a best friend for years and then it turned on us.”

– Life with Hope, third edition, page 4

When I first started smoking cannabis, it was to cope with the side effects of autoimmune disease and chemotherapy. I was always a studious type of kid who was never going to use drugs. When I was sick and missing class, a friend offered it to me to help with nausea and pain. At first, it was helpful and I only used it when sickness kept me from going to class. Slowly it became the coping mechanism for every difficulty I encountered in my life. When I was sexually assaulted, I started smoking every day. It allowed me to block out some of that pain and cope with the fact that I was in an abusive relationship. I thought that cannabis allowed me to endure my struggles, when really it kept me from confronting them and improving my life.

After my best friend took her life, I was smoking from the moment I woke up until I fell asleep. I had lost my closest friend, but instead of seeking comfort or companionship from others, I sat locked away in my room completely alone. I did not realize that cannabis had caused me to withdraw from others into my own isolated world. I spent my days stoned and alone, trying to repress my thoughts and feelings.

When I joined Marijuana Anonymous I not only gained sobriety, but rooms full of supportive people who encouraged me to share my feelings. I learned to leave my own personal bubble and rejoin the land of the living. Now, I have a group of supportive and clean friends with whom I am so excited to talk and share each day.

Final thought: Now, my life is filled with genuine human connection instead of the isolation of addiction.