“The operative word in Step Eleven is ‘only’. We need to keep in mind that we pray only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.”

– Life with Hope, first edition, page 57

Too often and for years I have woken up, prostrated on the floor in front of the window with the sunrise peeping through, and prayed for my will to be met. Since I was praying every morning, I thought I was doing the Eleventh Step correctly. I would pray for the needs of my day; the desires of my want; the list of things that I need to get through my day which only God could help me with. This drove me toward more resentment when things didn’t go as I had prayed for, or more aptly, requested.

As it’s been said, the cause of suffering is desire. It was during a book study that the above line, and specifically one word, jumped out at me, and that word is “only”—Only makes me right-sized. I am not summoning a genie to grant me my daily wishes; I am only supposed to pray for my Higher Power’s will for me and nothing more. What that is, is not up to me, and that is freeing, knowing that my Higher Power always has my best interest at heart.

The more understanding I have of God’s will for me, the more fulfilling my life will be. Praying, for me, leads me to a laundry list of expectations that inevitably won’t happen, knowing that expectations are resentments under construction.

Final thought: Praying only for God’s will returns me to humility.