“Recovery does not happen all at once. It is a process, not an event.”

– Life with Hope, first edition, page 4

I’m sitting here in awe of how I walked into these rooms with zero idea of the process that would unfold before me. My relationship to time was pretty unrealistic. I was always preoccupied with the past, regretting my missteps, and how my life had turned out. Also, I was afraid to move forward. It’s why I would smoke—to make time stop, so I could catch up, or not care about that awful feeling of life passing me by. All my problems would still be there five hours later. Smoke. Repeat.

For months on this sober journey, my Higher Power revealed itself to me in the form of patience. I had to learn to sit, really sit, with my feelings, cravings, awful thoughts about myself, and life. I sit, waiting for responses instead of blowing up everything when it felt like I wasn’t getting my way right away.

Today, I’m 14 months clean and sober and my life is a series of miracles. I would have never seen any of this unfolding from a process. I’m writing a show with a class that keeps me on deadline. I have the dog of my dreams; my home was given to me; my yoga students are thanking me for teaching them patience. More incredible opportunities keep coming. My family bonds are actually strengthening and I know that when something good happens to me, it is a reflection of my Higher Power’s love for me.

Final thought: Today, I will surrender to the process that has worked for so many who’ve gone before me, to see the unique and beautiful life that is waiting for me through willingness and patience.