“I first imagined my Higher Power to be two oak trees holding up a hammock. I would lie in the hammock being held. Finally I gave up trying to figure out my Higher Power.”

– A Slave to Marijuana, Life with Hope, second edition, page 119

During my using, I spent so much time trying to precisely identify what I believed about spirituality. I found a concept of a Higher Power that I could show off to my friends while we passed a blunt around. When the party was over, I put my Higher Power back in the box and up on the shelf. It had no impact on my daily life.

When I got clean, I needed to find a Higher Power that could work in my life to restore me to sanity. I started praying by listening to music with intention. “This minimum of belief is enough to open the door and cross the threshold” (Life with Hope, first edition, page 7). During my sobriety, my Higher Power has been many different things. Just as my recovery grows and develops every day, so too does my relationship with my Higher Power. Where I start doesn’t matter, as long as I do in fact start.

Final thought: Today, I embrace my relationship with my Higher Power, as I understand my Higher Power, in this moment.