Gripped by Green

Written by, Amy K.

Chaos crowned my childhood years,
a crown of grief, a flood of tears.
Mum was gone before I knew
how fragile love, how brief, how true.

At eight, the world was cracked and cold,
foster hands, but none to hold.
Brother lost to darker fires,
needles, powders, failed desires.

I found my comfort in the haze,
at twelve years old, those smoky days.
Dizzy first, yet I returned—
a gentler burn than life had burned.

Seasons passed, the habit grew,
a daily cloud, my skyless view.
Not for laughter, not for play—
but just to make it through the day.

Now laundry towers, dishes wait,
three small souls, their futures fate.
Lunchboxes packed with shaking hands,
while I am trapped in sinking sands.

The smoke that once could soothe my pain
has bound me fast, a rusted chain.
I long to breathe, to stand, be free,
to find the woman lost in me.

And deep inside, a voice still calls,
beyond these weary, smoky walls.
A spark survives, it will not die—
a seed of hope, a clearer sky.

One day I’ll break these binding ties,
lift my head and meet sunrise.
My children’s laughter guiding me,
toward the life I’m meant to see.

Published in A New Leaf – February 2026

  • October 1st

    Written By, Joel G October first, and as I seem to at this time of year, I’m thinking about my sobriety date—which is a few days away—and I’m thinking about how it’s been. I hear the neighbor coughing in his back shed and I can smell that skunky smell. He’s always out there around this…

    October 1st
  • There Was A Reason

    Written By, David L. I started using at 16. As soon as I got my own stash, my addiction began. It started as my nightly routine, helping me to escape my anxieties and calm my mind. Deep, relaxing sleeps turned into obsessive use… smoking joints on the way to school, avoiding my parents to hide…

    There Was A Reason
  • Are you?

    Written by, Callie B. Are you awake?Are you here?We only have moments to spare…Are you aware of being aware?Wherever you are, are you there?Are you paying close attention?Is your attention intentional? Are you always running?Is your patience,thin, dull, dwelling?Is it drained, gone, numbing?Are you chasing it or is it chasing you? Are you afraid, and…

    Are you?
  • Freed from Weed

    Written by, Ari K. Freed from Weed(Sobriety freed my mind from substance slavery.)Addicted to WEED?I was indeed.  Now I’m FREE! Now I go my way more consciouslyParts of my spirit are more grounded, see?The scope of the world widened when Iet go.I can’t manage now,I can however grow. Things I didn’t expect have arrived,gifts given…

    Freed from Weed
  • Break Up Letter

    Written By, Andrea F. (Note: This was written 4 1/2 months into my sobriety) Dear Marijuana, This is my letter to you from when I first gave you up 4 1/2 months into my sobriety. As I’m coming up on my 4 year anniversary on August 23rd, 2025, I’m looking back at all the reasons…

    Break Up Letter
  • Heard in a Meeting

    “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?” Published in A New Leaf – September 2025

    Heard in a Meeting