Gripped by Green

Written by, Amy K.

Chaos crowned my childhood years,
a crown of grief, a flood of tears.
Mum was gone before I knew
how fragile love, how brief, how true.

At eight, the world was cracked and cold,
foster hands, but none to hold.
Brother lost to darker fires,
needles, powders, failed desires.

I found my comfort in the haze,
at twelve years old, those smoky days.
Dizzy first, yet I returned—
a gentler burn than life had burned.

Seasons passed, the habit grew,
a daily cloud, my skyless view.
Not for laughter, not for play—
but just to make it through the day.

Now laundry towers, dishes wait,
three small souls, their futures fate.
Lunchboxes packed with shaking hands,
while I am trapped in sinking sands.

The smoke that once could soothe my pain
has bound me fast, a rusted chain.
I long to breathe, to stand, be free,
to find the woman lost in me.

And deep inside, a voice still calls,
beyond these weary, smoky walls.
A spark survives, it will not die—
a seed of hope, a clearer sky.

One day I’ll break these binding ties,
lift my head and meet sunrise.
My children’s laughter guiding me,
toward the life I’m meant to see.

Published in A New Leaf – February 2026

  • Hey, what’s this basket for?

    Written by, Loren N. The monies collected during our Seventh Tradition ultimately goes to carrying the message of Marijuana Anonymous, not only locally, but worldwide. When this is hampered, the addict is the one who suffers or dies. Most of us figured that the basket money went to rent, literature, coffee, and cookies. Whatever was…

    Hey, what’s this basket for?
  • Doin’ What Feels Good

    Written by, Dave K. I have always had difficulty understanding how and why people don’t do a lot of what feels good. In other words, when I first began smoking pot, it felt very good, so I did it a lot. Sex is the same thing. It feels good, so I do it – and…

    Doin’ What Feels Good
  • Hunger in Chains

    Written by, John C. I wake up to the gnaw, the claw, the whisper—a voice that slithers in my veins,coiling around my ribs like a python with patience.It doesn’t scream; it seduces,doesn’t demand; it devours. I tell myself, not today.Today I will walk past the firewithout dipping my hands into the flames.Today I will not…

    Hunger in Chains
  • Finding the Courage

    Written by, Katherine T. I want to start by talking about where I came from, because I think so much of my struggle with open-mindedness and honesty started in my childhood. Growing up, I was taught to believe exactly what my family believed. There wasn’t room for questioning, for doubt, or for my own voice.…

    Finding the Courage
  • It Doobie Like That

    Written by, Roe G. Hi guys, my name is Roe and I’m in recovery. Here is the story of my CHS experience. “I was diagnosed with CHS two days ago” “When did you last smoke?” “Um, yesterday… it was for the anxiety and the nausea” “Are you confused as to what the problem is?”I felt…

    It Doobie Like That
  • Speed of Light

    Written By, Andrew G. (Ace) BPM: 100 intro/ 104 onwardChords: F#, D, A, E Verse:My systems been brokeBurning up in smokeI’m begging for hope, for hopeI’m waiting to be foundCasting shadows on the groundTo the lasers and the sounds Pre Chorus:I lost my trajectoryBut I found my gravityI’m taking off to the galaxyFeel my velocity…

    Speed of Light