Gripped by Green

Written by, Amy K.

Chaos crowned my childhood years,
a crown of grief, a flood of tears.
Mum was gone before I knew
how fragile love, how brief, how true.

At eight, the world was cracked and cold,
foster hands, but none to hold.
Brother lost to darker fires,
needles, powders, failed desires.

I found my comfort in the haze,
at twelve years old, those smoky days.
Dizzy first, yet I returned—
a gentler burn than life had burned.

Seasons passed, the habit grew,
a daily cloud, my skyless view.
Not for laughter, not for play—
but just to make it through the day.

Now laundry towers, dishes wait,
three small souls, their futures fate.
Lunchboxes packed with shaking hands,
while I am trapped in sinking sands.

The smoke that once could soothe my pain
has bound me fast, a rusted chain.
I long to breathe, to stand, be free,
to find the woman lost in me.

And deep inside, a voice still calls,
beyond these weary, smoky walls.
A spark survives, it will not die—
a seed of hope, a clearer sky.

One day I’ll break these binding ties,
lift my head and meet sunrise.
My children’s laughter guiding me,
toward the life I’m meant to see.

Published in A New Leaf – February 2026

  • Terry’s Story

    By, Terry M. Today I have many things to be grateful for. In the past three years, my life has changed a lot. To list all these changes would be impossible. There are so many things I take for granted today that I would not have known before the changes of these last few years.…

    Terry’s Story
  • Daddy

    By, Rich C. As a child, I called you Daddy. As I grew up, it became Dad. You didn’t often (or hardly ever) say, “I love you son.” Rather, you showed love. Often, we regret the things not said. Or, regret the hurtful things sometimes said. Before you died, you made amends. You said the…

    Daddy
  • Clarity

    By, Anonymous Anger was my god, and when I look back to my time in active addiction, believe me when I tell you, all I saw was red. Not the rose-coloured glasses that tell you the world is a utopia, or the glasses you see others through right before the hurt. I saw rage, I…

    Clarity
  • Steps and Principles

    By, Tanya Mc. Stepping into… I am absolutely powerless over weed in my life.I can honestly say i can’t stop using, once I start.It’s always, just one more time, but then;It seems to be a marathon, on which I embark. But, I feel like it is just me who is doing this.I feel like there…

    Steps and Principles
  • Recovering

    By Lisa N. Recovery – it takes some time.Minutes turn to days, days to weeks.While the weeks, they mark the climb. Work through the months, get to the end.Recovery is continuous, a journey and path.No final destination you see, my friend! Addiction is our illness, connection is our cure.We wrestle our demons, deal with Life.Adulting…

    Recovering
  • Heard in a Meeting

    “I’m having positive transitions. This is the promise of recovery.” – Anonymous Published in A New Leaf – June 2025

    Heard in a Meeting