Gripped by Green

Written by, Amy K.

Chaos crowned my childhood years,
a crown of grief, a flood of tears.
Mum was gone before I knew
how fragile love, how brief, how true.

At eight, the world was cracked and cold,
foster hands, but none to hold.
Brother lost to darker fires,
needles, powders, failed desires.

I found my comfort in the haze,
at twelve years old, those smoky days.
Dizzy first, yet I returned—
a gentler burn than life had burned.

Seasons passed, the habit grew,
a daily cloud, my skyless view.
Not for laughter, not for play—
but just to make it through the day.

Now laundry towers, dishes wait,
three small souls, their futures fate.
Lunchboxes packed with shaking hands,
while I am trapped in sinking sands.

The smoke that once could soothe my pain
has bound me fast, a rusted chain.
I long to breathe, to stand, be free,
to find the woman lost in me.

And deep inside, a voice still calls,
beyond these weary, smoky walls.
A spark survives, it will not die—
a seed of hope, a clearer sky.

One day I’ll break these binding ties,
lift my head and meet sunrise.
My children’s laughter guiding me,
toward the life I’m meant to see.

Published in A New Leaf – February 2026

  • My Big “New Leaf”

    Written by, Marcia L. My recovery in Marijuana Anonymous has been a long time coming. I was in and out of recovery for decades. Unfortunately, I was in and out of every area of life during my first 65 years. Nothing ever made sense. My family life was certainly affected by my marijuana use, and…

    My Big “New Leaf”
  • Heard in a Meeting

    “F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.” Published in A New Leaf – September 2026

    Heard in a Meeting
  • My Experience with Insanity and Psychosis

    Written by, Luminous Lisa It started with my own deep and unsettling unhappiness with myself, my life, and everything else in between. I sank deeper and deeper after having a love affair with marijuana for only two years. It seemed like the perfect solution to my problems when I was 17. At 19 years old,…

    My Experience with Insanity and Psychosis
  • Growth, and Small Changes

    Written by, Ernest F. I went and helped someone move into a new place. I had been friends for years, we were co-workers. I would always expect good work, and good conversation, when we were placed together to work. I had left the company some years before. The move was good, and we talked. After…

    Growth, and Small Changes
  • I’m Moving Out (My break up letter to Marijuana)

    Written by, Charlie L. Dear MJ, I didn’t know it then, but I was looking for you my whole life before we met.I never knew how to exist in my body.How to quiet the loud busy streets of my mind,I never knew how to make any choices, I didn’t know how to feel anything.I didn’t…

    I’m Moving Out (My break up letter to Marijuana)
  • Heard in a Meeting

    “Don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling!” Published in A New Leaf – August 2026

    Heard in a Meeting