Gripped by Green

Written by, Amy K.

Chaos crowned my childhood years,
a crown of grief, a flood of tears.
Mum was gone before I knew
how fragile love, how brief, how true.

At eight, the world was cracked and cold,
foster hands, but none to hold.
Brother lost to darker fires,
needles, powders, failed desires.

I found my comfort in the haze,
at twelve years old, those smoky days.
Dizzy first, yet I returned—
a gentler burn than life had burned.

Seasons passed, the habit grew,
a daily cloud, my skyless view.
Not for laughter, not for play—
but just to make it through the day.

Now laundry towers, dishes wait,
three small souls, their futures fate.
Lunchboxes packed with shaking hands,
while I am trapped in sinking sands.

The smoke that once could soothe my pain
has bound me fast, a rusted chain.
I long to breathe, to stand, be free,
to find the woman lost in me.

And deep inside, a voice still calls,
beyond these weary, smoky walls.
A spark survives, it will not die—
a seed of hope, a clearer sky.

One day I’ll break these binding ties,
lift my head and meet sunrise.
My children’s laughter guiding me,
toward the life I’m meant to see.

Published in A New Leaf – February 2026

  • I Am Not Alone

    Written by, Anneliese B. If someone had told me five, ten, fifteen, or twenty years ago that I’d be a part of a worldwide, loving fellowship of marijuana addicts, I don’t know that I’d have believed them. I had resigned myself to a lifetime of marijuana smoking, and therefore to a lifetime of isolation, fantasized…

    I Am Not Alone
  • Celebrating 37 Years since the 1st MA Unity Conference

    This month we honor MA’s Unity Conference in Morro Bay, CA – June 16-18, 1989 and within this month’s issue of A New Leaf, we have included “A Brief History of MA,” from Life with Hope. Without our founders, MA might not exist today! They bravely spoke up about marijuana addiction in other 12-Step programs,…

    Celebrating 37 Years since the 1st MA Unity Conference
  • It’s Time To Fly

    Written by, Toni H. Dear Marijuana, I guess I never thought I’d write this letter but it’s time for us to break up. You’ve been there for me more consistently than most things throughout my life and I will give you credit for that. When I was young, you helped me find community amongst other…

    It’s Time To Fly
  • NEW WAYS

    Written by, Kaya G. Better boundaries, growing self-care and love,Break the habit, rise and move above. Find new ways to operate and exist,A clearer life that once was missed. Change perspective without the victim mentality,Step outside that old reality. Stand upright, reclaim the ground,Hear a truer inner sound. Create a new way of understanding my…

    NEW WAYS
  • Hazy Fog by NH

    Written by, Natalie H. V1:After all the puffs in a cloud of smoke when you’re down and out and at the end of your rope. Just know there’s hope somewhere for you there’s a light that shines got to see it through. Chorus:Each day will get a little better you’ll find a way to beat…

    Hazy Fog by NH
  • Where The Butterflies Live

    Written by, Michael J. Where the Butterflies Live The butterflies landed on wildflowers.They carried a message,“Your serenity has been taken.” The butterflies landed on wildflowers.I knew how to numb,to distract,to be busy,unconscious. The butterflies landed on wildflowers.I’d traded serenity.I received boredom.Not peace,loneliness. The butterflies landed on wildflowers.They said,“This right here,The silence of wind,The warmth on…

    Where The Butterflies Live