Written by, Anonymous
“For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority, a loving God whose expression may come through in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.” -Tradition Two
As a recovering marijuana addict, I am constantly reminded of how many “control issues” still lurk around the darker areas of my brain. Thank heavens for Stepwork! Recently, I briefly became a vocal minority in regard to an issue within an MA service area. I discussed my concerns — as kindly as possible — with a human in the main service position via a series of emails over a period of months. This fellow recovering marijuana addict kindly (and fairly promptly) responded to my emails and eventually put my concern on the agenda for this particular group’s business meeting. It was several months before the human was able to talk with me via telephone (due to the holidays) about the outcome of the decision made by group conscience.
At first I felt unhappy because the decision made by that particular group’s members/committee wasn’t exactly what I’d wanted. However, I had brought my concerns to the Loving God of my personal understanding and to my MA sponsor before I initiated contact with the human in the main service position. I also had accepted in my brain (and heart) that whatever the outcome was: It was God’s will and therefore exactly as it was supposed to be in that moment. Having submitted to whatever God’s will was for this issue ahead of time — Humility in practice (and always a work in progress!) — allowed my brain the space to listen to and calmly discuss the decision that was made. And lo and behold…because my mind isn’t all fogged up with weed anymore, and I keep cleaning up my side of the street via regular stepwork: I realized the decision made had been arrived at and done in the most perfect way possible for this period of time.
“At times, each of us may have to accept a group conscience that is contrary to our own desire.” – Life with Hope, 1st edition, pg 75
My pride/ego doesn’t like it when things don’t turn out the way I hope for. I accept that fact! My recovery journey has a lot more hope/joy in it as I learn to incorporate the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions as a way of life. It’s not an easy path for sure! Numbing out via marijuana still looks attractive to me even with a few years sober/clean. It’s worth it to me though because having a personal relationship with the Loving God of my understanding grants me the power I lack. Plus, HP helps me navigate the storms of life in a more sane (and useful!) manner.
Thy will be done.
With gratitude,
Anonymous
