Amends to Self

Written by, Anonymous

My dear self,

I love you, and I’m so proud of you. I haven’t always made it easy for you, but you’ve become such an incredible woman, and I’m certain you will continue to thrive in the future.

I’m writing this letter as an amends for all I have done and failed to do that stalled our growth or made life more painful than it needed to be.

I often expected perfection from you, which was unfair and unreasonable. I did not accept you as you were physically, and I abused your beautiful body. For those times I am deeply sorry.

I did not allow you to truly feel and learn from all of your emotional experiences. I number and masked and covered up. I deprived you of meaningful moments, relationships, and lessons through my drug use. I truly regret this.

I was also cowardly and lacked the courage and bravery to speak up for you so that your needs could be met. I neglected you in my pursuit to people-please and avoid the discomfort of confrontation. I failed to value you and deprived you of so much good because I was afraid. I sincerely apologize for taking you for granted in this way.

Moving forward, I promise to love you for all of your beautiful flaws and imperfections. I promise to give you the grace to be human. I love your physical body, your wondrous mind, your vast emotional experiences, and your incredible spirit.

I promise to allow your experience, no matter how uncomfortable, confusing, or challenging it may be. I will always be here for you without judgement. I will not attempt to alter or change your mind so that you may learn and grow as God intends for you.

And I promise to be your biggest advocate. I will stand by you and speak up for you no matter what. I will prioritize your care first and I will never expect you to pour from an empty cup.

Most importantly, I will always keep trying and I will never give up on us. I will accept mistakes as they come, learn from them, and do the next right thing.

I love you.

~yourself

Published in A New Leaf – August 2026

  • Onward Sober Soldiers

    Written by, Anonymous I am engaged in a war with a beast that lives inside of me. It is old, born in the garden of Eden, enslaving all addicts. It is no coincidence that the Jewish holiday of Passover fell while I was detoxing, for this holiday celebrates the release of Jews from slavery. I…

    Onward Sober Soldiers
  • Gifts of the Program

    Written by, Terri R. I got my nine month chip at a Glendale MA meeting this week. I am the type of person who reflects on my progress whenever I reach a milestone like this. Course, I am very proud of myself. However, I’m also thinking of all the gifts I received from the program…

    Gifts of the Program
  • Love and Understanding

    Written by, Terry M. In the book, “The Road Less Traveled,” Scott Peck defines love as “the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” One of the first things I remember being told when I reached these rooms was “we will love you until you learn…

    Love and Understanding
  • Thoughts from the Field 

    Written by, John H. I believe in myselfI believe that every action for myselfgives value to myselfand if you are willing to actin love of youI believe in you The story of my recovery is the story of desire. What I desired was life, for I was living without desire. I did not know who…

    Thoughts from the Field 
  • “Let your drug of choice be life”

    Created by, Callie B. Published in A New Leaf – September 2025

    “Let your drug of choice be life”
  • Shared Steps

    Written by, Cheryl B. You didn’t flinch.I noticed.Even when I unraveledlike thread pulled too far. You didn’t rush to fixor offer polished truths.You just stood—still,present. That mattered morethan you’ll ever know. I spilled stories,pixelated and flickering,sent across flat screensand silent hours. You received themwithout question,without recoil.Patient as a treein soft wind. I expected judgment—maybe even…

    Shared Steps