By, Jesse P.

It started out as one teenaged wish
the click of a lighter
and turned into a life
It was exciting
and floating from the ground
came the laughter and the closeness I needed to have somehow
you turned into a danger from someone I held so close, I don’t know
but it was time for you to go

Oh glory how to cut you out
can I get out for good
All I want is to hold you close
but that’s what I fear most
So I’ll leave – I’ll leave before it swallows me alive

In my eyes everything seemed fine
cozied up to you, not leaving for work on time
what I refused to see, a growing anxiety
you fooled me, gentle and blissful and kind
I lost sight of my feelings, my needs were put on hold
don’t reach for me, you’ve got to change for me to grow

Oh glory how to cut you out
can I get out for good
All I want is to hold you close
but that’s what I fear most
So I’ll leave – I’ll leave before it swallows me alive

Every time I try without you by my side
a crippling craving darkness in my eyes
I can’t let go your pictures, your hands around my neck
But the minute I admit it, ‘bless it, I’m a mess’
Is the moment it begins to turn to cease to spin
a moment I can dream to have control, oh I know

I’ll cut you out
and I’ll get out for good
All I want is to hold you close
but that’s what I fear most
So I’ll leave – I’ll leave before it swallows me alive

Published in A New Leaf – June 2025