“Step One: We admitted we were powerless over marijuana, that our lives had become unmanageable.”

– Life With Hope, first edition, page 1

There was a crack deep within me, and once I accepted it—accepted that I am a marijuana addict—the light began to pour in. Taking each next right action, one day at a time, as long as I don’t pick up, I am making progress. I don’t have to do recovery or anything else with perfection. I have the freedom to make mistakes and learn and grow from them.

When in the depths of addiction to pot, my life was full of shame, fear, anxiety, worry, and paranoia. I tried so hard to overcome my addiction by myself—I expected that I should be able to. I tried to be perfect, and time and time again, I failed to meet my expectations. Each time I let myself down, I crashed deeper into my addiction, and a spiral of hopelessness and depression. Marijuana Anonymous has taught me that I do not have to do it by myself. I have the resources of my Higher Power, meetings, fellows and my sponsor to support me. I have the tools of our beautiful book, Life with Hope, the MA Workbook, and the 12 Steps. By admitting my powerlessness over marijuana, and asking for help, I paved the way for peace, serenity and inner transformation.

Ironically, by admitting my powerlessness, I began to have access to true spiritual power within me and beyond me. Where once my addiction was my biggest source of shame, I can now completely accept it and recognize that my addiction led me straight into a spiritual revolution, and a new way of living. The light found its way in through my broken and cracked old self.

Final thought: Just as a new year is born on this day, I too am renewed each and every day, one day at a time.