“For each step we take toward God, God takes a thousand steps toward us.”
– Life with Hope, third edition, page 51
When I first came to Marijuana Anonymous, I understood God to be an all-knowing, judgmental, scary guy in the sky. I didn’t like him very much, and I didn’t think he cared for me either. I saw “God” in most of the Twelve Steps and thought, “I’ll just skip that part.” In meetings and conversations with my sponsor, I heard people talk about their Higher Power. For every person in the room, there was a different version of God. I read our literature that refers to a “loving,” and “positive” Higher Power.
As I worked the Steps, I kept an “open mind and hopeful heart” (Life with Hope third edition, page 8). I took some time to think what I should call my Higher Power, since I wasn’t too fond of the word God. Before I even had a name for it, my Higher Power started working in my life; I started to see how it was working in my life. It has always been there, I was just too stoned to notice. I started keeping track of “coincidences,” and now I have a list of 50 ways my Higher Power has shown up in my life.
I don’t believe in coincidences anymore. I believe that I’m in sync and cooperating with a divine, loving, kind, gentle, forgiving, humorous, beautiful universe, higher self, spirit family, master gardener, or cosmic parent. I am in awe every day and each day, and I thank MA for the gift of God, as I understand God.
Final thought: Today, I will take a step towards my Higher Power, by showing up at meetings, talking to other addicts, and practicing the spiritual principles of the Twelve Steps.
