“…lives of suffering have been transformed by humility, into lives of happiness, fulfillment, and joy.”
– Life with Hope, first edition, page 34
When I entered recovery, I was extremely depressed and suicidal. There was nothing but sadness in my life and I could not see any alternative. I had suffered a lifetime of physical and mental abuse; I felt worthless and alone. From the time I was a child, I felt as though no one loved me. I was very shy and withdrawn and only spoke in a whisper. I lived in a fantasy world to escape my feelings.
When I took my first hit of marijuana, I was immediately transported; my cares were gone. Over time, I used marijuana as a method to escape. I became more withdrawn and isolated. I thought that it was helping my depression, not realizing that it was causing my depression to increase to the point that I became suicidal.
Being in recovery and working the Steps helped me cast aside these ingrained fears; having the love of a Higher Power gave me confidence. I learned to accept and love myself so that I could love others. Recovery has changed my life in so many ways and I am so grateful. The promises made in recovery have come true. Every day, I wake up grateful for another day of life in recovery. I count my many blessings. I have let go of my resentments and I have forgiven those who have caused me pain. I have let go of the painful, dysfunctional past. I give love freely. The inner peace that I feel radiates out to others. I find joy in my life every day.
Final thought: These days I am happy, joyous, and free! I feel gratitude for my recovery every day. Life is good; dreams come true!
