“Recovery…begins with a real desire to stop using, with a genuine change in our attitude, with a soul-transforming realization that we are finally willing to go to any lengths to change our lives.”
– Life with Hope, second edition, page 4
Stepping into recovery rooms for the first time was terrifying. I knew it would no longer be possible to deny my addiction. I was there to admit it to others as well as to myself. I could grasp that I was powerless over marijuana but I had no idea what it meant to go to any lengths to change my life or what it would mean to have a spiritual awakening. The answers did not come immediately. I attended meetings regularly and listened as others shared how they had learned to live by spiritual principles and to seek support from a loving Higher Power to guide them to live “life on life’s terms.” My “attitude of gratitude” grew as the days passed. I started to believe that my life could be transformed from being angry and self-serving to being at peace and in service to my fellows. While it wasn’t always obvious, I began to notice how I was living with faith, that every new day held promise instead of dread.
After some time, I got a sponsor and began working the Steps. I was willing to examine, define, and understand my past behaviors, to ask God to remove my character defects, and forgive myself and others. My willingness to turn my will over to God’s care opened a path to see my life as having a positive purpose. I was proud to be living this life, having achieved the humility to recognize that I was living out God’s will for me.
Final thought: Today marks a new beginning as I surrender my will to a Higher Power and trust that, with its love and guidance, I will succeed in living life along spiritual lines.
