“The Third Step does not say, ‘We turned our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood God.’ It says rather, ‘We made a decision’ to do so. We didn’t turn it all over perfectly or all at once. We made a decision. What an accomplishment this was! We made a decision; it was not made for us by marijuana, our families, a probation officer, judge, therapist, or doctor. We made it ourselves.”

– Life with Hope, second edition, page 12

On re-reading this today, I was struck by the irony that the Step in which I accepted the care of my Higher Power was one in which I made a decision. I applied my will towards my recovery. This illustrates well how recovery requires both things: the things that my Higher Power cannot do for me, such as decisions; and the alignment of my will with my understanding of how my Higher Power wishes me to live. If I choose to make this decision today, there is no risk. I can change my mind and not do so tomorrow.

As an addict like many others in MA, my disease was full of decisions that I was too scared to make, and ones I habitually or lazily put off. This decision can be my chance to break the habit of procrastination and fear. I boldly made decisions to do what it took to get loaded. Now, I can boldly step up for today and try this on; turn it over, breathe, be grateful for what I have, and for the people who love me.

Final thought: Today, I am grateful for growth, freedom, joy, and happiness in my recovery.