“Marijuana Anonymous gives us no definition of a power greater than ourselves. We practice spiritual principles, not religion. We have no theological doctrines. What we do have is a realization that we had never been able to stay clean on our own. We needed a Higher Power to do that.”

– Life with Hope, third edition, page 10

When I first entered recovery, I had little belief that a Higher Power could “restore me to sanity,” as it says in Step Two. I thought I could achieve sobriety on my own until I found I couldn’t put down the pot, no matter how much I wanted to. Growing up, my father told me that people who believed in God and prayer were “brainwashed,” and this clouded my perception of prayer and a Higher Power.

As I got clean and started searching for my own version of spirituality, I realized that people all over the world pray; even those who are non-theist. I’ve found that by asking for help from my Higher Power and by praying for others, I get more in touch with my own love and compassion, which has helped me realize that I never need to feel alone. No matter what I’m going through, there are countless others feeling the same way, in that same moment, all over the world. The people I’ve met in recovery remind me of this, too. They have helped me get in touch with a power greater than myself: the healing power of love, friendship and connection. I was so desperately craving this while I sat alone, stoned, watching TV, or scrolling through social media.

When I think about the support addicts offer to each other in the rooms of Marijuana Anonymous, I’m reminded that there is a power greater than myself, and it comes in many forms. We’re free to believe in whatever Higher Power is meaningful to us.

Final thought: Today, I believe a Higher Power has been slowly working to restore me to sanity; a life which is balanced and allows me to act from a place of integrity.