“Although many of us came to the fellowship already believing in the existence of a Higher Power, we doubted that it would be of help since it had not helped us to stay clean before.”

– Life with Hope, third edition, page 9

In the beginning of my recovery, I attempted to cast aside my atheism to allow religious versions of God into my heart. This was not entirely effective for me. I was desperate enough, so I tried my hardest to surrender. I associated this version of a Higher Power with certain strictures, ways of thinking, and standards of conduct that my nature profoundly resisted. It was indeed a Higher Power, but it was not my Higher Power.

As I continued attending meetings and working the Steps, I came to understand better. My sponsor put it best, telling me that my Higher Power can be anything as long as it loves you unconditionally and it’s greater than you are. He also explained that my connection with my Higher Power could evolve over time. When I was allowed to conceive of my Higher Power in a less paternally prescribed manner, I found my connection with my Higher Power became far stronger.

I know now that my Higher Power wants for me the very best of what I want for myself. Now, I pray twice every day. Once in the morning, I say, “Dear God, please help me gracefully follow your path today.” Once in the evening, I say, “Dear God, today was a good day. Thank you for helping me hold to my values. I love you.” As I continue to live in harmony with my Higher Power’s will for me, I find my feeling of connection grows steadily, and I see my life continue to improve.

Final thought: Today promises to be a good day, as I live it holding to my values by the grace of my Higher Power.