“…surrender outweighs the illusion of control and becomes our only option for recovery.”

– Life with Hope, second edition, page 3

When I first got clean, I knew I was powerless over marijuana, but I didn’t think my life was unmanageable. I had a job, an apartment, a cat, and a partner. Slowly, as the cloud of smoke left my brain, I realized that using pot every minute I was awake, even though I was no longer getting high, made my life completely unmanageable. My thinking and the constant craving for pot was unmanageable.

Once I realized that the entire First Step was relevant to my life, I could surrender to my powerlessness and unmanageability. Each surrender to the Steps has been a huge gift. Working these Twelve Steps has been the only thing that has made real and lasting change in my life. I have a set of tools which help me live happy, joyous, and free, in a way I could never have imagined before recovery.

Final thought: Today, I am grateful for another day clean, and pray to stay that way.