“I have had enough lessons to accept that control is an illusion. If I trust the inner guidance my Higher Power gives me then I will receive all I need and more.”

– Coming Home, Life with Hope, second edition, page 215

Before surrendering to the program, I thought my life was over. Everything that I had worked so hard to control—my career, my relationships, my secret mental health struggles, my curated image of perfection and “having it all together”—had all been shattered overnight. On top of my own personal crises, the world was shutting down as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, evoking uncertainty and powerlessness on a global level.

Strangely, though, with each passing day of being isolated in my apartment, attending MA meetings on Zoom, and fiercely praying for the ability to accept my Higher Power’s will, I grew more peaceful than I had ever been in my entire life. I accepted the job loss, the broken relationships, the necessary relocation. Instead of trying to control my circumstances, I trusted them. I trusted that the adversity I was enduring was part of a master plan that my Higher Power has for my life—one that provides necessary lessons and opportunities for growth and spiritual maturity. The miracle happened when I realized that the harder I try to control my entire life, the more out of control my life gets.

Final thought: Today, peace comes from letting go and trusting the path my Higher Power has put me on.