Personal Story

IT'S ENOUGH WRITTEN ON A CHALK BOARD

Written By Jess A.

I started smoking pot my freshman year of high school. I was an off and on smoker for 40 years. When I was on, I was on. As time progressed and weed got stronger, quitting became more challenging and my ability to live a normal life got harder and harder.

I found MA phone meetings in 2018. I had 18 months under my belt and then COVID hit, my daughter and her fiancee moved in and I started stealing pot from them. I relapsed 5 times over the next 2 years. I finally said enough is enough. I rented an Airbnb for 4 days/3 nights for my own “rehab”. My husband dropped me off on a Thursday and picked me up on a Sunday. I didn’t have a car, I live in California, so I could have walked to a dispensary, however I was determined to quit for good this time. I listened to zoom meeting after meeting, took baths, went for walks, read, journaled and detoxed.

This time I wanted it to stick. I told myself the missing ingredient recommended was to follow the suggestion of 90 meetings in 90 days, so that was the change I incorporated and I honestly believe that was the difference necessary to become committed to abstinence.

Today, I have 1190 days, that’s 3 years and almost 3 months without cannabis. I am a sponsor, I serve in meetings, I talk to fellows daily, I attend meetings weekly and I DON’T miss Mary Jane, at all. I love myself, others and my MA community. I am a different person than before. I am becoming the person I wanted to be, for years. I attribute it all to working the steps and being committed to improving myself daily. I believe the only requirement is a desire to be a better version of myself and a daily commitment to my higher power, everything else falls in line.💜

Published By A New Leaf – December 2025

More Articles

  • Break Up Letter

    By Jules M. of District 20 Dear Mary Jane, When I discovered you, it was like a miracle had come into my life. You gave me the ability to hyperfocus, to briefly let the troubling world slip away, to access my creativity, to be more social, to practice yoga and meditation, made experiences more enjoyable…

    Break Up Letter
  • Dakaholic in New Zealand

    By Bern G. My name is Bern, I am a marijuana addict. I was born in a small town in the central North Island of New Zealand (NZ). Looking back it was an area that was beautiful to grow up in, especially when I consider where others must grow up. My parents were role models…

    Dakaholic in New Zealand
  • Break Up Letter

    By Jamie L. Mary Jane, It is without regret that I have decided to sever our dysfunctional relationship. We have been an item for 17,520 days, most of which I do not remember, all of which has been a waste of time. You have tried for years to break me, to destroy me, to drag…

    Break Up Letter
  • Heard in a Meeting

    “Relapse is just part of the learning process. It teaches you what not to do next time. You’ve found the trigger and are better prepared for the future.” – Anonymous Published in A New Leaf – March 2025

    Heard in a Meeting
  • Depression

    By Danielle D. A blanket of grey covers the skyVitamin D in low supplyThe TV is on, my ass on the couchI really need to fix my awful slouchThis time of year is always toughIf I were a man, I’d surely have scruffFrom days stuck in thoughtAnd a lack of self careWho knows if I’ve…

    Depression
  • Forgetting

    By Remy C. I have a problem. I can’t eat, sleep, or smile. I’m not smoking yet. I just have untreated depression and anxiety and can’t afford therapy. When I find access to marijuana, I think my problem is solved. I can eat. I can sleep. I can smile. I can at least until I…

    Forgetting