Where am I, and why am I here?

someone driving down a road with their arm out the window feeling the wind

Written by, Richard J.

At first, I was only here because the Secretary of State has sent me here for the process of getting my driver’s license back. But my first session was a real eye-opener. I learned that my addiction was actually worse than I thought. I was nervous and a little scared of having to go through this, but as time goes on, I have realized my addiction has had me in a cycle of isolation and that is no way to live as I am not getting any younger.

Have my feelings changed since my assessment? Yes, I am actually excited for this change and have been feeling way better about myself. I have even reconnected with a few loved ones that I never would have thought I would talk to again, and I am very grateful for this experience. I am learning and meeting my true self. I just want to be a better role model for my younger family members, and also be here for people in the moment, especially my wonderful wife. Surprisingly I am also finding myself not getting as mad and frustrated at my job as well.

I am tired of wasting time and money on something that truly does not benefit me in any way. I have realized how powerless I am to this addiction. I am thankful for the support I have received from my loved ones and my new M.A. fellowship. I am learning that loving myself is very important. I have even started eating healthier and as a result I have even lost like fifteen to twenty pounds just from changing my diet which was not ever possible while I was getting high.

I just want to live life with the privilege of being able to drive legally again, and in doing so I will not be so isolated anymore. Not to mention being a safe and responsible driver on the road. I do plan to stay off any mind-altering substances for as long as I can do that, because if I don’t do that, I will most likely repeat the same cycle all over again, and this journey will have been for absolutely nothing.

In closing, thank you for changing my life.

P.S. My M.A. fellowship is proudly my new addiction. Love you all

Published in A New Leaf – October 2026

More Articles

  • Onward Sober Soldiers

    Written by, Anonymous I am engaged in a war with a beast that lives inside of me. It is old, born in the garden of Eden, enslaving all addicts. It is no coincidence that the Jewish holiday of Passover fell while I was detoxing, for this holiday celebrates the release of Jews from slavery. I…

    Onward Sober Soldiers
  • Gifts of the Program

    Written by, Terri R. I got my nine month chip at a Glendale MA meeting this week. I am the type of person who reflects on my progress whenever I reach a milestone like this. Course, I am very proud of myself. However, I’m also thinking of all the gifts I received from the program…

    Gifts of the Program
  • Love and Understanding

    Written by, Terry M. In the book, “The Road Less Traveled,” Scott Peck defines love as “the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.” One of the first things I remember being told when I reached these rooms was “we will love you until you learn…

    Love and Understanding
  • Thoughts from the Field 

    Written by, John H. I believe in myselfI believe that every action for myselfgives value to myselfand if you are willing to actin love of youI believe in you The story of my recovery is the story of desire. What I desired was life, for I was living without desire. I did not know who…

    Thoughts from the Field 
  • “Let your drug of choice be life”

    Created by, Callie B. Published in A New Leaf – September 2025

    “Let your drug of choice be life”
  • Shared Steps

    Written by, Cheryl B. You didn’t flinch.I noticed.Even when I unraveledlike thread pulled too far. You didn’t rush to fixor offer polished truths.You just stood—still,present. That mattered morethan you’ll ever know. I spilled stories,pixelated and flickering,sent across flat screensand silent hours. You received themwithout question,without recoil.Patient as a treein soft wind. I expected judgment—maybe even…

    Shared Steps