Looking Up

Writen by, Anonymous

When I was high

I looked up at the stars

Each time I pulled in

On that little pipe that got clogged up

And then I cleaned it with alcohol

Boil it in saltwater

Boiling cloves cinnamon and nutmeg to try to cover up the smell

Dumping the boiling water in the alley of the back patio

I miss looking up at the stars every day

But I do not miss burning my finger with a crappy lighter

And coughing and hacking up a storm at the quietest moment

In the theater

I do not miss carrying around green mints in my pocket to pop

Them in when my throat would start to tingle

I do not miss hacking up loogies in the sink each morning and eve when I brushed my teeth

I do not miss the hazy gaze and foggy way I looked at people

Avoiding conversations and exiting early

I always exited early

I do not miss feeling shame for the smell of weed on my breath

Or my red bloodshot eyes

I do not miss that mary jane- that made me delusional and in a private bubble of shame

Stuck in time

Looking at the stars and the full moon

Today I look up to the stars

The trees and the blue sky

I inhale deeply and exhale

Weed free

Published in A New Leaf – September 2026

More Articles

  • Counting Down the Days

    Written by, Rysse G. I count down the days that I am sober, like a clock to how long I can just be in my life without running. 12 hours.There’s a train barreling down the generations. 1 day.Recovery they call it. What am I recovering? 16 days.I cry like I’m unplugged, like it feels it…

    Counting Down the Days
  • Poem

    Written By, Jessyka C. Don’t know how many more times we can say goodbyeBut I will tryHopefully for one last timeTo see you outThis is itIt’s overI mean thisAnd it’s not like I won’t miss youI willWe were good togetherYou and IWe had some great timesBut MaryYou’re done scaring meWith how much I rely upon…

    Poem
  • Stopwatch

    Created By, Anonymous Published By A New Leaf – March 2026

    Stopwatch
  • Heard in a Meeting

    “Don’t tell your Higher Power you have a big problem, tell your problem you have a big Higher Power/God.” Published by A New Leaf – March 2026

    Heard in a Meeting
  • But What If…

    Written By Anthony As I sit in this first day of sobriety, laying in the bed waiting to get sleepy after taking a sleep aid, I’m thinking to myself “But what if I lose it all from disconnecting from everything and everyone?” Only to realize that those what-ifs are what’s kept me trapped for so…

    But What If…
  • Gripped by Green

    Written by, Amy K. Chaos crowned my childhood years,a crown of grief, a flood of tears.Mum was gone before I knewhow fragile love, how brief, how true. At eight, the world was cracked and cold,foster hands, but none to hold.Brother lost to darker fires,needles, powders, failed desires. I found my comfort in the haze,at twelve…

    Gripped by Green