“…recovery from addiction requires resources beyond the capacities of any one individual addict.”

– Life with Hope, first edition, page 8

I get it. I am a marijuana addict. I know that I did not want to be one. I thought that the subtle smoky ally of mine was my friend. It was for a long time. Through most of my twenties I could bounce back the next day and hit the reset button and not suffer any consequences. I didn’t realize my short temper, my dirty laundry, the undone dishes, the girlfriend that cried; I didn’t realize these were signals! I am clean today. My ego is too big and I think I know everything; still my sponsor loves me like a brother, like a friend who can handle the insanity of someone who desperately wants to stay clean.

I am seventy-five days clean at midnight. My bed is made. I ate a salad today, a salad with kale! What is going on: I pray, I remain malleable and most of all, I am grateful. I am so grateful. The smoky demon is all around me and somehow I am protected.

Final thought: Today, I am grateful that I was willing to go to any lengths to change my life. Teach me more.