“We found that by deciding to turn our will and lives over to the care of God, as we each understood God, our lives and the responsible use of our freedom to choose were returned to us.”

– Life with Hope, second edition, page 13

The freedom to choose; what a foreign concept that was! I had convinced myself that I was choosing to use marijuana, but marijuana was using me. Marijuana had me in her grips and wrapped me in chains that I could not escape. It wasn’t until I did Step Three with my sponsor and made the decision to turn my will and life over to the care of God, that I discovered newfound freedom; freedom that was rejuvenating, refreshing, and lifesaving. It broke the chains. The merry-go-round from hell that was my insidious marijuana addiction stopped spinning.

I was able to make the decision to get off that ride thus ending my suffering. Slowly but surely, my life got better. The fog lifted; the healing began. It doesn’t stop there though; I have to make the daily decision to turn my will over to God. Every morning, I set aside time to pray and meditate, that’s when I talk to God and remind myself that I am not in control, that thy will be done. If I don’t do that, I will quickly try to control every aspect of my day and when doing so, I create chaos, disappointment, stress, and worry. It also pours over into wanting to control other people; talk about disappointment and frustration!

I am still human so I don’t do this perfectly, but every moment that I am clean I get to try. Step Three alleviates the pain and sorrow I so often inflicted on myself. The good news is that I don’t have to live that way anymore. I am recovering, one Step, one decision, one choice, one day at a time.

Final thought: Today, I have the freedom to choose, and I choose to turn my will and life over to the care of God.