“Within the fellowship, we found that many of us had done the same kind of things, had felt the same, and had experienced similar thoughts.”

– Life with Hope, first edition, page 17

“Look for the similarities, not the differences.” When I first heard this, I found it hard to believe that this group of people were going to help me solve my overwhelming problems. I didn’t trust myself, didn’t trust anyone else and I was used to lying every day. Mostly to myself, but yes, my loved ones and employers got their weekly share of excuses and fabricated half-truths.

By the time I got to my Fourth Step, I had heard enough stories to realize that I wasn’t “terminally unique.” I had even laughed a time or two at the same convoluted thinking that had gotten my fellow stoners into trouble. Yes, I alternated between blaming myself and blaming others, but I really couldn’t imagine another way of getting through life and its confusing unpredictable ways. I stopped trying to figure it out and just did it; promptly, with prayer and hope that it would bring some relief. Oddly enough, it did. I was scared and embarrassed but now I look at it as a list of things I might not have to do: lie, steal, cheat, or hang out with people who are not good for me just to stay high.

Final thought: Today, I can believe that honesty can be “more joyful than difficult” because I can better recognize the difference.