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August 7th – When I Use, My Life Is An Eraser
“We therefore open our doors to any addict who has the simple desire to stop using marijuana, hoping that they can find what we have found in MA.”
– Life with Hope, second edition, page 78
As I fell asleep last night, I reflected on the insanity of my using. How tragic that I spent years stoned, unaware that I could not stop or how I was ceasing to live my life. Day after day, I used pot to numb myself every waking moment, then grace entered. It had been knocking on the door for several years, telling me I needed to quit. How often I would say “this is my last bag” only to get another.
Finally, I must have shared my desperation with someone who referred me to a meeting. I had been trying to stop on my own, and now I could see people, other addicts like me, supporting each other, doing recovery together. The shackles of addiction fell off me, and I have never felt the compulsion to use again. I know that I have a life today because I’m present for it, and not numbing myself. I know that if I were to use again, I might not get another chance at recovery, and the life that I love would be erased. I know that recovery, and my life, is lived one day at a time, and I am grateful to be present for each day.
Final thought: Today, I am grateful for the grace that keeps me in recovery, doing what others do to stay clean.
Living Every Day with Hope – Copyright © 2025 Marijuana Anonymous World Services. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the publisher. Marijuana Anonymous groups have been granted limited permission to quote Living Every Day with Hope.
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