April 15th – The Fourth Step: A Writing Exercise

“The Twelve Steps of Marijuana Anonymous are to be lived, not just discussed in meetings.”

– Life with Hope, second edition, page 43

When I first approached the Fourth Step, I spent much time talking about it, but little time actually writing. I took a piece of paper and wrote, “This is my Fourth Step” at the top and then promptly put the paper away. I sure talked a good game at meetings, but I did not work the Step.

Finally, my defects caused enough pain and I was able to work this Step. The majority of my work on the Fourth Step occurred on a long Saturday afternoon when I just wrote and wrote. I did additional work on it. I looked at my resentments, my fears and my sexual conduct. I put pen to paper. I had to keep reminding myself that this was my inventory, NOT the other person’s!
It was hard work and brought up many feelings and reminded me of things I had forgotten. I was as fearless and thorough as possible. Soon after I took the Fifth Step with my sponsor, the closeness to Higher Power I felt at that point was beyond belief.

Final thought: Today, I will actively work the Steps, and not just talk about them at a meeting!