What I Didn’t Do

two women holding hands

Written by, Julie A.

Weed once felt like a soft landing — a cushion for my racing mind, a bridge out of loneliness. But over time, the cushion smothered me. Nights blurred into smoke, mornings into fog. I thought I was escaping, but really I was erasing myself.

My wife held me through it, even as the haze built walls between us. She has known more than her share of pain. And when I disappeared into weed, it was as if I abandoned her to carry both our burdens. Love deserves presence, and I was absent.

Someone in a meeting said, “Alcoholics regret what they did. Marijuana addicts regret what they didn’t do.” That line pierced me. I saw all the moments I’d let pass by — conversations unsaid, laughter unfelt, love unattended.

Recovery is where I begin doing again. Showing up. Speaking up. Holding her hand with clear eyes and an open heart.

Published in A New Leaf – February 2026

More Articles

  • Solve It Again

    Written By, Aurelie E. Life isn’t a puzzle with edges that stay,nor a riddle that’s answered in only one day.It bends and it shifts, like the tide or the rain—you wake every morning, and solve it again. The pieces don’t fit the same as before,new doors may appear where there once was no door.The map…

    Solve It Again
  • Progress Not Perfection

    Created By, Chris P. Published By A New Leaf – January 2026

    Progress Not Perfection
  • Turning 40

    Written By, River B. My birthday is in the fall, often landing on or shortly after the autumn equinox. This year in celebrating with a weekend at my parent’s cottage on the shores of Lake Huron with four of my closest friends, who have all agreed to a sober weekend in support of my new…

    Turning 40
  • Breath of Fresh Air

    Written By, Jules M. While meditating one day, I had a realization… I wasn’t craving cannabis, I was really craving a deep breath and the relief that accompanies it. In active using, I was constantly doing breathing practices. I would take the biggest inhale I could, hold in my breath, take a couple more sips…

    Breath of Fresh Air
  • Heard in a Meeting

    Even if I don’t get this, I may still get something.

    Heard in a Meeting
  • Sober Bell Rock

    Written By Tiffany A. Sober Bell, Sober Bell, Sober Bell RockSober bells bling andSober bells ringAbstaining while cravingAnd fighting the urgeT’is the sign that it’s time to purgeAll of the bongs and roaches you storedParaphernalia, regalia too…Sober from doja’s the Number 1 doorFor your life anew! What a bright time What a right time To write resentments down Such…

    Sober Bell Rock