February 5th – Come As You Are

“There is room in MA for all beliefs, or none…We all have a place here. There is no conflict. For each of us, a power greater than ourselves…can be any positive, powerful thing that we are comfortable with.”

– Life with Hope, first edition, page 9

If this is a disease of self-loathing, then thank God for Step Two. I don’t think it even matters what you call your Higher Power. I just know that my Higher Power must be ever-loving, ever-accepting, ever-cheering me on, so that I cannot help but begin to like myself as a result of working these Steps.

When I put down the weed, a relationship to a Higher Power actually becomes possible. I’m not sure what it was that I thought I found before because I sure kept smoking for those spiritual effects! I’ve learned there are just some brains that cannot handle a mind or mood altering substance without devastating effects and consequences. I had one of those brains; yet another reason to hate myself. I have learned by the gentleness of my Higher Power that there is simply no room to hate myself for anything. I began to trust in my ability to face life without the help of marijuana’s filter. What I found is that it’s not that bad, that I am lovable, and that every little thing is going to be alright.

Final thought: Today, I will let go of being right about myself being all wrong and surrender to that force of love.