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“Gone were the days of insight. Now we experienced confusion, paranoia, and fear.”
– Life with Hope, first edition, page 2
When I first started smoking cannabis, I got high, and I could laugh and see the world in a different light. A pocket full of cash and a pocket full of dope were my highest ambitions. However, within a matter of time, I became paranoid and constantly anxious. I could only get a bit of relief by smoking some more dope. It would only make me feel normal for about 30 minutes, then the hell of it all came back again. I was just using to feel normal, if only briefly. A tortured spirit, I had nowhere to turn but rehab and then to the support of other recovering addicts, and a loving power greater than me.
Final thought: Today, I don’t have to be a tortured spirit. Today, I have hope, serenity, and fellowship of others in recovery. Today, I’m heading in the right direction.
Living Every Day with Hope – Copyright © 2025 Marijuana Anonymous World Services. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the publisher. Marijuana Anonymous groups have been granted limited permission to quote Living Every Day with Hope.

Where Marijuana Anonymous members spark creativity by sharing experience, strength, and hope.
“The spiritual side of the program is like the round side of a basketball.” Published in A New Leaf – October 2025

Written by, Michael O. The legs are no longer really working at all and my fingers are all curled up and it’s hard to move my arms.. I don’t know how much longer I will have the ability to work my phone, I’m sure glad we have speech to text. This life has been a…

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Written By, Dan F. I used to look back on my childhood with confusion. I knew I was different—how I learned, how I connected—but I didn’t have the language for it. I just knew I didn’t fit. It wasn’t until I entered recovery that those memories began to shift. Not because they changed, but because…

Written By, Jade N. Dear Sativa, I’ve been trying to find the right words and the courage to say that I am not in love with you anymore. You have given me some of my best times, and some of my worse times. Yes, you helped me medicinally get off of opiates and alcohol, but…

Written By, Mark S. I lit the leaf to calm my mind,But found my soul grew more confined.A fleeting peace, a fleeting high,Yet every dawn, the well ran dry. The smoke became a binding chain,A silent thief that numbed my pain.It whispered lies, “You’ll be set free,”While tightening its grip on me. Dreams delayed, and…

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