“Many of us discovered that we had low self-esteem. We learned that we are neither all bad, nor all good. We are simply human.”

– Life with Hope, third edition, page 19

When I was using marijuana, I had an artificial sense of self-acceptance. I thought that I was cruising through life with grace and had everything under control. It was only when I got clean that my lack of self-acceptance was unveiled. I didn’t know who I was when I was not escaping from my problems and character defects. I was quick to judge my past mistakes and I held resentments towards myself for not seeing the negative impact I had on the people in my life. I thought I was the worst of the worst.

Once I began working on the Steps, I came to the realization that humans are imperfect, striving for progress, not perfection. All that matters is the willingness to right my wrongs and accept myself when things do not go to plan. I seek my Higher Power to help guide me through my day-to-day life. My self-esteem is based on esteemable acts in which I engage. I no longer have to carry the weight that I am “not good enough.” I am simply human. I am clean, and that is more than enough.

Final thought: Today, my self-acceptance depends upon my willingness to do the next right thing, and to engage in esteemable acts.