“As we began recovering, we let go of convincing others what the Greater Power was, and instead focused on how to use that power in recovery.”
– Life with Hope, second edition, page 9
The unmanageability described in the First Step took me years to recognize, but eventually caused me enough pain to make me finally try to address my weed smoking and get clean. This is a two-part step. If I could smoke pot and live a manageable life, I would do it in a heartbeat. My experience shows me that as long as I am using, my life is unmanageable and always will be. Even if I could use just once a month, I would spend the rest of the month planning and fantasizing about what that one time would look like.
For me, it’s just not worth it. I needed to be all out of excuses as to why my life was still working the way I had been living it. When I admitted that my life was unmanageable, I was finally ready to try sobriety. Although there is much more to sobriety and the MA way of life than staying clean, one day at a time, there are some days when staying clean is all I need to do for that day.
Final thought: Today, I give myself a chance to work the rest of the program, be of service and develop a relationship with a Higher Power. It works if you work it.
