“Prayer and meditation are a real source of power and strength in living our program.”

– Life with Hope, first edition, page 56

Mindfulness practice is the basis for my meditation. When I remain in the present moment and as conscious as I can be of what’s happening within me and around me, then I can trust in the presence of a power greater than myself.

When I was in active addiction I was living a double life. On the outside I was trying to show the world that everything was OK. Yet on the inside, there was this person screaming about the insanity of my life and no one could hear me. I wanted to stop the cycle of my marijuana use; yet again, every day I needed to smoke marijuana to try and deal with my life.

Marijuana had stopped working years ago but I kept using, thinking it would stop that deafening silence, but the scream in my head kept me up at night and kept telling me I was no good; I wasn’t worth it.

In recovery, I have learned that the silent scream can be silenced by sharing at meetings, sharing with my sponsor and working the program of recovery.

Final thought: Today, I will remember the importance of sharing with my sponsor and working the program of recovery.