“We therefore open our doors to any addict who has the simple desire to stop using marijuana, hoping that they can find what we have found in MA.”
– Life with Hope, second edition, page 78
As I fell asleep last night, I reflected on the insanity of my using. How tragic that I spent years stoned, unaware that I could not stop or how I was ceasing to live my life. Day after day, I used pot to numb myself every waking moment, then grace entered. It had been knocking on the door for several years, telling me I needed to quit. How often I would say “this is my last bag” only to get another.
Finally, I must have shared my desperation with someone who referred me to a meeting. I had been trying to stop on my own, and now I could see people, other addicts like me, supporting each other, doing recovery together. The shackles of addiction fell off me, and I have never felt the compulsion to use again. I know that I have a life today because I’m present for it, and not numbing myself. I know that if I were to use again, I might not get another chance at recovery, and the life that I love would be erased. I know that recovery, and my life, is lived one day at a time, and I am grateful to be present for each day.
Final thought: Today, I am grateful for the grace that keeps me in recovery, doing what others do to stay clean.
