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September 4th – Powerlessness
“Even though smoking pot wasn’t fun, I couldn’t stop. I’ve heard that one of the meanings of the word addiction is slavery, and I was truly a slave to marijuana.”
– A Slave to Marijuana, Life with Hope, third edition, page 100
I am a marijuana addict. I always chuckled at the part we read that said, “Were you anxious when your stash was low?” My stash was never low. I was a functional addict, dealer, connoisseur, and purveyor of cannabis. My whole life and livelihood centered around it. If I were to run out, I would melt away like the Wicked Witch in the Wizard of Oz; that could never happen.
The sad part was that I never realized that subconsciously I dealt so that I would never run out. I had to always be numb. I couldn’t possibly allow myself to feel emotions, people, and life. Through the MA program, I have come to learn that my life without weed has so much more to offer. I no longer live with anxiety every time I hear sirens or simply wake up. I have service positions and look forward to meetings as opposed to living hopelessly. I have friends who care about me legitimately, not because I am their source. I hope that soon I’ll know peace.
Final thought: Today, I live a life with hope.
Living Every Day with Hope – Copyright © 2025 Marijuana Anonymous World Services. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any means without the written permission of the publisher. Marijuana Anonymous groups have been granted limited permission to quote Living Every Day with Hope.
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A New Leaf – Online
Where Marijuana Anonymous members spark creativity by sharing experience, strength, and hope.
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