“We become willing to help our group deal constructively with conflict. As group members, we strive to work out difficulties openly, honestly, and fairly, and we seek to promote the common welfare of all members rather than a personal agenda. Each of us takes into consideration the effect our actions might have on newcomers.”

– Life with Hope, third edition, page 66

In recovery, the experience I had as a newcomer can fade by the wayside as I become more confident in my recovery and more established in my group. It is not difficult to become a big fish in a little pond as more days are strung together. I must remember the adage that it is better to be kind than right when dealing with fellows, whether at a recovery meeting or a business meeting.

It is so important to try to keep in mind the perspective of a newcomer who isn’t familiar with our jargon, slogans, and group dynamics and remember the sensitivity and fear that accompanied my own early days. Rather than avoiding conflict, I welcome the opportunity to grow up in the rooms, practicing how to resolve the inevitable difficulties that arise in any relationship, with the principles of the program. I may not always do it well or gracefully, but with patience, humility, and acceptance, I practice progress and growth while modeling it for others.

Final thought: Today, I will keep the newcomer in mind and put the unity of the fellowship on which my personal recovery depends first.