November 1st – The Miracle

“In recovery, we begin to develop a relationship with a Higher Power, or renew one that we once had. We come to believe in a God of our own individual understanding, a Higher Power that will help us in all phases of our lives. Some of us believed that dependence meant restrictiveness. However, many of us have found that dependence on a Higher Power means freedom of choice and freedom to grow as individuals.”

– Life with Hope, first edition, page 56

It took me several years to get off pot, but that came as no surprise as I had spent over half my life using it as much as possible. Once I found the right sponsor, I was given a simple program to follow, and I decided to follow those suggestions like my life depended on it. I was sick and tired of spending a few months smoking and then trying to quit again.

Working with my sponsor, I was finally able to develop an honest relationship, and he in turn helped me develop a relationship with my Higher Power. Staying honest also meant acknowledging that I still wished I could smoke pot. Anytime the desire came up, I would fast-forward the movie in my head and it was enough to keep me from taking that first puff. After 50 months off weed, I realized that the miracle had finally happened to me too. I was healing from a surgery when I realized that I had made it through some of the scariest moments of my life without weed.

As I used to smoke to deal with my fears, I have now learned that the Serenity Prayer and this fellowship are more powerful than any joint. The desire to smoke weed had finally been lifted. I was finally granted a new sense of freedom. All I had to do was not smoke today, and come back tomorrow.

Final thought: Today, I am grateful that I no longer need weed to deal with my fears. Today, I have new tools and new friends.