“We were full of fear. Those fears stopped us from doing what needed to be done. Some of us were delusional; we lived in a private world that no one else shared. Perhaps we considered suicide, were otherwise depressed, or found ourselves unable to interact with other people. Maybe we were desperately lonely. For many of us, our self-pity became anger at the world for mistreating us and, for some, this anger escalated into rage.”
– Life with Hope, second edition, page 16
When I wake up each morning, I find negativity running freely throughout my mind. My old way of thinking and behavior would have me focusing on this negativity and starting a mindset cycle of self pity and “poor me, I’m a bad person, I’m not rich enough, people don’t like me, I haven’t achieved what I want in life,” and on, and on.
When I work my recovery program I engage my gratitude list. There are so many things for me to be grateful for right now. I am clean this morning, I am alive. I can think. I have a place to sleep. I have a program where I have friends to listen to me and help me. I care enough about myself to be in recovery. The wildfire of hopelessness that had seemed overwhelmingly depressing soon becomes significantly diminished, quenched in a waterfall of gratitude.
The score of my life flips from an addict mindset to an enlightened attitude of strength and power. I am now easing into a beautiful day.
Final thought: Today, I will awake and think of what I am grateful for. The negative thoughts that used to plague me will not run my life.
